Stupidity

There have been many instances. Too many in fact, that I wonder why I let history repeat itself, and not learn from it instead.
I think this is a very prevalent scene in anybody's life. Some friction comes up from somewhere, the people in a relationship feel the weight of the other's silence over a brief misconduct. And then, they stop smiling at each other when they see each other on their way to work, while picking groceries at the corner store, when their companion strikes up a conversation - they feel so uneasy in the other's presence they wish the other was simply a fragment of the other's imagination - a ghost they see in their mind. And gradually, time wears away, leaving all the channels of communication unused and eventually, forgotten.
The mere mention of the name would elicit different reactions at different stages of the regrettable collapse of a blissful relationship. Initially, it would elicit an emotion out of confusion, which would be the reaction that the person would feel very strongly and justify the reaction to fool themselves into feeling right. This is the first step to a successful crunch on the relationship. Later on, a story would be made in the mind that would justify why the person felt the crunch on the relationship based on the reaction in the first stage. The story would seem so true that the mind believes things happened that way. And this means the next stage is very close at hand. There is a parting of ways that offers a choice between a feeling of boiling rage or of sweet memories staling in vinegar. Either ways, the subject in question misses the other person a lot. He remembers the person close to his heart or by his repeated attempts to stop thinking about him. Through all this, he would rather not talk to him but make up a good list of reasons why he is justified by his silence. From then on, the silence grows till it devours every ounce of the rage or renders the memories vapid in their essence. And this is the point where the last traces of the relationship totally disappear.
The duress of this long journey from the sowing to the uprooting will definitely be a couple of years at the least, and could go on to a decade. There are instances where the bitterness that set in stayed till Death took a half of the relationship with it and aggrieved the other half before she could claim it too. The individual's ego is another thing to consider - it gives an ant the image of an elephant. And people, given a little ego, tend to think about the bigger superfluous things rather than the smaller essential things. This gives them a thought train that justifies their high headed ways, trashy as they might be. There are others who are devoid of ego. They feel betrayed and feel like the face between their ears is totally out of place wherever they may be. At places where the meek person and the other half are present, the meek guy plans it somehow to avoid the other person by all means. His means would be to be at the venue at a different time, merging in with the walls at the venue, clinging to a new group of friends or something more desperate. And though all these things may be happening, the other half may not feel a thing amiss - simply because he did not notice, but the meek guy would call him a brick, because he thinks him insensitive to his emotions.

Enough crap about all the break ups and their possible causes. There ought to be a way to set things straight. What could it possibly be?
It is a very simple thing - WORDS.
That's right, words are what people can use to mend their brokenness and be whole again. It is very simple to start with, but to get to the start is a tough thing for people to do - people are more willing to be bull in a china shop kind of people rather than the sane six sensed creations of God. Relationships are about people. People are to be good to each other. At times, it may seem terrible, but then, everyone should ask themselves if what they are doing is right and justifiable in an unselfish uncategorized manner, to get to the bottom of things. And once at the bottom of things, all it takes is a lot of patience, a pinch each of understanding, sensibility and reason and a knowledge of how the person on the other end was worth so much, why his personal worth and why the relationship carried on for so long. Anyone will vouch for me when I say, the large lacuna that crept in between the two halves of a relationship and bore the ill effects of it for so long will never realize how soon it could be filled up and how easily so unless one of them makes the first move. The empty space would simply remove so much bliss and goodness from your days, unless you fill it up.

Why need we patch up? This is not a worthy question from a human being, a man. Man lives on Earth, man needs company. All on Earth need someone to trudge the days along with, to get on with life, to talk to, to share feelings with, to stay beside them through their highs and lows, to listen to, to be there when in need and to be needed. I think the phases a relationship goes through are from the first meeting and from there, down the road. When we meet someone in life and meet them again, chances are, we may meet them more often in the near future and we foster a relationship so we are not lonely. People are assets, not material assets, but assets. And they are meant to be kept close to the heart and not played around with. Why, you ask? Simple - people got feelings as much as you do, and if you are a brick, then people around you got more feelings than you do. Also, people are the only assets that you get to keep from life, till after death - who knows, the person next to you playing the harp in Heaven could be the grocery store keeper you barely knew or the person in the cauldron before you could be your blast from the past. Wherever we go, we need people we could connect with and share our highs and lows. If you don't believe in afterlife, then may be you will find me justified when I say you may need someone to socialize with once you turn old and grumpy, people you are on good terms with and with whom you can definitely be yourself and not behind a mask. If not, then what is the point in you living for all the time you have?

Of course, people are not all that neat to all of us. We are misfits in a world of misfits. Nobody is Perfection personified. Bearing that in mind, we build on our relationships. And expectations from people around us can hurt us so bad when they are not met or fulfilled. And so, we need to learn to expect much less than what our mind tells us to. And people may feel other levels of emotions towards other people, many times much higher than what they shower on us. Here, a touch of understanding is required to realize that they are people, not our pets, and that what they feel towards others is not our concern, but whether we choose to express our emotions towards them and feel comfortable with how they are within our control and we should exercise a lot of self control with people, at least when the alarm goes off about excessive emotions. Any of us is not above another among us, as human beings. And respect for another human being, is required if we are to keep good ties with people. Then again, there is a question of compatibility - people never see eye to eye on many things and are often juggernauting into unwelcome sections of the life. There are times when we need to know to draw the line and never turn back. Simply because it does not work fine always. Some people are simply not worth what we are, and once we question our innermost selves and are very certain about it, we can tell ourselves and if necessary, the person involved a 'N O - NO' and move on with our lives. At any stage through all this, taking stock of the situation, doing an introspection and making the right decision is key to our own peace of mind, which we should never jeopardize under any circumstances.

Remember, people are assets and should never be harmed, ego is bad, retrospect and figure out what you are feeling, change it when necessary, make the first move when you sense something amiss and never let someone suffer because of you. And when you are all to certain that it is indeed time to let go, let go.

Final note - play it safe